Funny Jokes

Smile Please

SMILE PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!!

Ek Sharabi full tight hokar ghar jaa raha tha. Raaste me mandir ke

baahar pujari dikha.

Sharabi n pujari se poocha, sabse bada kaun?

Pujaari ne peecha chudane ke liye kaha "Mandir Bada".

Sharabi bola "Mandir bada toh dharti pe kaise khada"

Pujari: "Dharti badi"

Sharabi: "Dharti badi toh Sheshnaag pe kyun khadi"

Pujari" "Sheshnaag bada"

Sharabi: "Sheshnaag bada toh Shiv ke gale me kyon pada"

Pujari: "Shiv bada"

Sharabi: "Shiv bada toh Parbat par kyon khada"

Pujari: "Parbat bada"

Sharabi: "Parbat bada toh Hanuman ki ungli pe kyon pada"

Pujari: "Hanuman bada"

Sharabi: "Hanuman bada toh Ram ki charno me kyon pada"

Pujari: "Ram bada"

Sharabi: "Ram bada toh Ravan ke piche kyun pada"

Pujari: "arey mere baap tu bata kaun bada"

Sharabi: "Is duniya me woh bada jo puri bottle pee ke apni taango pe

khada"

Love SMS

Saali mini skirt me Jija ke pas akar boli-Jiju dekho to jhukne se meri panty to nahi dikhti?Jiju- Pahle pehan to lo, phir

dikhana.Saali boli-"APRIL FOOL.
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3 tak ginenge bhag jana warna tere gand me goli mar dunga 1 2 3 mujhe pata tha ki tum nahi bhagoge kyoki tumhe kuch na kuch

apni gand me gusane ka aadat hai.
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Ek bar sardar bahut hi badsurat aur kali ladki se sex kar raha tha..Ladki := mere andar sabse sundar chij konsi hai??

Sardar:= mera LAVDA
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1 callgirl dusri se lagta hai koi gharak araha hai 2nd tumhe kaise pta? 1st mujhe land ki mahak aarahi hai 2nd dhat pagli wo

to mene dakar li thi
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BINA HATH PAIR WALE AADMI NE RANDI KA DARWAZA KHATKHATAYA. RANDI BOLI ABE TU KAREGA KAISE? AADMI BOLA TU SIRF YE SOCH KI MENE

DARWAZA KAISE KHATKHATAYA?
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Boy ne jab girlfrnd ki panty utari to use 'Hariyali'najar aayi.Boy-ye kya hai? Girl-Oh shit m sorry, wo jaldi jaldi me mein

'Mooli nikalna bhool hi gayi.
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Yaro ki yari per shak nahi karte.

Jab DON msg bheje to bak-bak nahi krte.

Pareshan krte ho jab don busy ho.

Ab don free hai to sms nahi krte.
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Zid apni naa kar paye par,
Pyar bhara dil tod diya.
Kuch paiso ke liye zaalim,
Tuney sms karna band kar diya.T.D.S.

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Diff Btw Ignorance &Self Control:Whn U See d Mirror, U dont Laugh, datz IGNORANCE.Whn I luk at U, I also Dnt Laugh, Datz SELF

CONTROL.!;-)
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Arz Hai-Teri Hasrat Dua Ban Ke Reh Jayegi Teri Kismat 1 Jua Banke Reh Jayegi Or Jis Pe Tu Try Marta Hai Beta Wo Tere Bacho Ki

"Bua" Ban Ke Reh Jayegi.
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Tamil ki ladkiyan"idli" banati hai,rajasthan ki ladkiya"shurma" banati hai,gujrat ki ladkiya "dhokla" banati hai, aur JSR ki

ladkiya sirf chutiya banati hai...
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[2/2]d. 8.No wastage of money. 9.Easy to perform. 10 Guranted satisfication. So, Moral is: "BADNAAMI KI CHUT SE IZZAT KI

MUTH ACHI HAI"
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Ek Sardar bazaar mein su-su kar raha tha. Ek Angrej ne use puchha "Kya yahaan POLICE nahi pakadti?" Sardar bola "Nahin yahaan

to khud hi pakdna padta hai..
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\\ /// (@..@) (--) Apka PASSPORT Size Photo Mere Ghar Pada Tha Use Dekh Bacche Dar Gaye Aur Kutta mar gaya Lo Rakho

Apni Photo.
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Prity or ritu Naha rahi thi ritu boli:- he vagwan Tere Neeche me 'BAAL' Nahi hai.
Prity Hansi aur Boli:- Pagli Jis "SADAK pe TRAFFiC" Jyada hota hai,us Sadak pe 'GHAS' nahi Ugti.
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Agar ap janna chahte hain pyar ki gahrai to likhe love,apna <name>apne partnr ka name & bhej dijie.. Apne PAPA ke Number pe.

Wo btaynge pyar ki gehrai ok
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(_),,=.____ ','/" : : :.) \, _,_,_!,!,!"""!,!,! "_,_, Jao Gay Maata Jao, Jo Mujhe SMS Nahi Karte Unke Mobile Par

GOBAR Gira Ke Aao.....
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Kisi ne mere mb. par 50 ka recharge kraya use 1 lakh ka fayda hua.Kisi ne 500 ka karaya uski sari muraden puri ho gayi. Mera

farz tha batanaaage aapki marji.?
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Jante ho garam tave par popcorn kyun uchalte hai, . . . nahi na. . . kabhi baithke dekho phir samjhoge popcorn ka

dard!! :-)
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Husbnd:-darling agar tum khana banana seekh lo to naukrani ka kharch bachega. Wife:-madarchod tu chodna seekh le to

naukar,driver mali sb ka kharch bachega..Gm
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~Atitude during exams~
They gave me the questions which i did not know,..So i wrote answers which they dont know.
Tit for tat.... :-):-)
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Written on a board in church "GOD NEVER FAILS".A guy wrote below it, Let Him give IIT, PMT, CPT, CAT, JEE, GMAT, CA & CS

exams!! Sari hekdi nikal jayegi...
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A scientist wanted 2 develop a bra that'll stop women's boobs bounce while running & didn't show nipples when wet. Don't

Worry.. Maar diya Madarchod ko.
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KrAZzY_CaMPuS: I luv walkin in rain Bcoz nobody knows i'm crying -(OLD STORY) . . . I Luv Walking In FOG Bcoz No one Can

FIND I'm SMOKING! -(NEW STORY)
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Kahte hai k Car me aage ki seat par bachcho ki wajah se haadse ho jate hai aur pichhe wali seat par haadso ki wajah se

Bachche ho jate hai So Keep Avoide Car
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Tanhai se nehi hum mehefil se darte hai Duniya se nehi hum khud se darte hai Yuhin to bahat kuch khoya hai hamne Najane kyun

aap ko khone se darte hai.
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Mandir ki ghanti, aarti ki thali, nadi ke kinare suraj ki lali, zindagi me aaye khushiyon ki bahar, aapko mubarak ho RAM

NAWMI ka tyohar.
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Gadhe Ke Samne 1 Pani Ki or 1 Daru Ki Balti Rakhi. Gadha Pani Pi Gaya. Police Ne Sharabi Se Pucha- Kya Sikha?? S harabi- Jo

Daru Nahi Pita hai Woh Gadha Hai..
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Boy: Me tumhare liye sab chod dunga Girl: Ma, Papa? Boy: Ha Girl: Apne Dost? Boy: Ha Girl: Daru? Boy: Didi ghar jao,

Apke papa preshan ho rahe honge.
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Laila ko karna tha Impress to Majanu ne khaya MINTO FRESH.Jab Majanu ko karna tha Impress to Laila ne utara kapada aur kaha

daba ke dekho ekdam hai FRESH.
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Nigahe nigaho se mila ke toh dekho, naye logo se rishta bana ke toh dekho, kyun kehte ho log aate nahi pass, ek baar aache

saabun se naha ke toh dekho. Gm
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Professor raat ko bed pe novel padhte hue biwi kI panty me haath dala,,Biwi- utaaru kya.?Profesor : Na ji ho gya,,Page

palatne ke liye ungli geeli karni thi.
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Banta In art gallery: ye bhynak tasvir ko aap modern art kahte hai? Art Dealer: Mere bap tu dimag mat laga ghar ja, ye aaina

hai...,
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SEX K WAQT LADKI NE APNE LEGS FAILA K BOYFRIEND SE PUCHHA,HAMARE BACHCHE KA NAAM KYA HOGA? BOY-CONDOM LAGA KE BOLA: IS KE

BAAD BHI HOGA TO.. "JAADU". GOOD MORNI
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Rojana mutth marne se parhez kare, yaad rakhe ki land jaandaar to mard shanddaar our biwi rahe imandaar.... plz forward all

mutth maru brother's..!!
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1 Spcl Surprise 4 u !Close ur Eyes! 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 kis bat ka srprize? Tumne kab ankh band ki. Hum se hosiyari. GooD

NighT..
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u r sweet u r intelegent u r smart u r kind bt.. thoda aur improve karo tabhi to mere jaise ban paoge. Try it.., good

afternoon.
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Suna Kal Teri Kanpatti Pe Banduk Rakhi Gayi AurTujhe 2 Option Diye Gaye JAAN De Ya GAND Tujhe Jinda Dekh Kar Khushi Hui

Dost.. Good Decision.. Good night..,
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Madam ki 2 panty kho gayi,to usne apni naukrani pe ilzam lagaya.To naukrani ro ro k boli: saab ap to kuch boliye na apko to

pata hai mai kuch nahi pehanti..
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Aaj ka aham sawaal Agar Raat ko aap ke saath bed per 1 side pe 1 Haseen Ladki ho, Aur doosri side per 1 GAY ho, to aap kis

ki side pichwada karke soyenge..??
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<('.')> /"/ ./"L YE BASANTI HAI AB YE NACHEGI, NACHI KYA..? SORRY main bhul gaya tha ki,,,, BASANTI KUTTO K

SAMNE NAHI NACHti....!!
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1 nangi ldki bar me gayi ladki- 1 peg Wisky dana. Wetar dekta hi rha, Ldki-kbi nangi ldki nahi deki Waitr-main to ye dekh

raha hu k tu paise kahan se nikalegi!
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Bandar ki beti boli papa mujhe bhi shadi karni hai.
bandar bola beta sabr rakh,
Dulha Abhi sms padh raha hai, padhke muskurayeto rishta pakka.
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Taliban=Agar Tum Islam nahi Manoge To Tumhara Gala Kaat Diya Jayega. SARDAR=Ye Achha Tarika Hai. Islam Na Maano To Gala

Katega Aur Maano To Nunni.
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Socho agar msg receive krne k paise lgte to kya hota? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Socho? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Tum

jaise log to meri supari de chuke hote.
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Kal Baba BALATKARI ka B'day hai. Landpur me dhoom-dham se jashan hoga,Blue film,sex samagri baanti jayegi. Ye SMS sirf khas

Randibaajo ko bheja ja raha hai.
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SARDAR JOKES

NASA DICIDED 2 SEND SARDA TO MOON,HALF D WAY SARDAR JUMPED 2EARTH, shouted,how dare u?to cheat me? 2day is "AMAWASYA"

THERE WILL E NO MOON,SALOO,ME UTRUNGA KANHA?

Nayi padosan ki khidki khuli uski julfe udi maine socha ki shauad is bar kismat khuli par afsos wo din itwar tha aur khuli julfo wala sardar tha

Sardar was doing experiment with cockroach. First he cut its one leg and told, walk, walk. Cockroach walked. Then he cut its second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked. Then cut the third leg and did the same. At last he cut its fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didnt walked. Suddenly sardar said loudly, I found it. If we cut cockroachs four legs, it becomes deaf

sardar on phone- maa khush khabri hai maa:- bol beta Sardar:- 2se 3 ho gaye hai maa: beta hua ya beti? Sardar:- na beta na beti teri bahu ne dusri shadi karli

A girl sitting in examination hall with sardar ji Girl: sardar ji mein tuwadi nakal mar laa?.. Sardar: ahoo to meri nakel maar lay fair mein teri asal mar lawa ga?

Man:Santajee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kia karte ho? Sardar:AC k pas ja k beth jata hon Man:Agar phir bhi garmi lagay to? Santa:To A/C on kar laita hon

Sardar had twins. He named them Tin and Martin. Again had twins and named them Peter and Repeater. Again twins and named them Max and Climax. Again the same. Disgusted Sardar named them Tired & Retir ed.

A Sardar went to a bank to open a S.B. A/C. After seeing the form he had gone to Delhi for filling it up. You know why? Form said: Fill Up In Capital

A Sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to whoâ��re the guys? The bystander : A Marathon race is going on. Sardar : What do they get from that? Bystander : The winner will get a prize Sardar : Then why are the others running?

Darling! kya main tera pahila pyaar hoo? Wife : Kardina sardar wali baat, Spinner ko kabhi opening milti hai kya?

Judge: Order! Order! Sardar: Ek full chicken masala, 4 paratha, 1 kabab aur 1 coffee. Judge: Shut up! Sardar: Shut up nahi 7 up.

One sardar says: Koi acha sa kapda (cloth) dikhaiye. Sales man: Plain main dikhaon Sardar: Abey hawai jahaz main nahi dukan par hi dikha!

Ek raat bijli chali gayi, Sardar: oye kam se kam fan to chalao. Sardani : kar di na sardaron wali baat fan on karenge to candle bujh jayegi.

Khatiya Aur Aadmi

Ekbaar ek aadmi ek khaat kharid kar bazar se laa raha tha ek gaon se
gujar raha tha tabhi ek byakti ne puchha bhai khatia kitne me liya
us byakti ne kaha bhai bahoot saste me liya 100 rupiye me
100 rupiye !!!!!!!!! me tujhe to achha gand mara
phir woh byakti dukhi hokar age badhne laga
phir kuch log use mile woh puchne lage bhai khatiya kitne me liya
bahoot saste me 60 rupiye me
60 rupiye me !!!!!!!!!! tujhe to khara khara gand maar diya
phir woh byakti dukhi hokar sochne laga sahi me thaaga gaya age badhne laga
phir kuch log use mile woh puchne lage bhai khatiya kitne me liya
bahoot hi saste me 40 rupiye me
40 rupiye me !!!!!!!!!! tujhe to baitha kar gand maara
ab aadmi gussa ho gaya aur aage badhne laga
phir ek gaon me kuch log mile woh puchne lage
bhai khatiya kitne me liya
woh kuch nahi bola
phir puchne lage
ae bhai khatiya kitne me liya
gusse se us byakti ne jabab diya
gand mara kar aa raha hoon
khatiya bhi saath le gaya tha kya

Holi SMS for mobile

Boy- I'm going to kiss you. Girl- khabardar main shore machaungi. Boy-

par yahan dur dur tak koi nahi hai. Girl- kya karu FORMALITY toh

nibhana padegi..! Gd ni8
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N Koi Pal Subah he N Koi Lmha Sham he Hr Pal hr Lmha ap k Naam he ise

Sirf Sms N samjh Lena ye hamari taraf se apko "Gd Morng" k Pegam he. Gd

morng
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Woh kaunsi situation he jisme mard 30 minute me thak jata he aur aurat

chahti he ke woh karti rahe Socho SHOPPING Magar apki

soch ko Salam
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Fagun me jab ayi HOLI,Ek chut jhom k boli,Koi mere sath v khele

HOLI.Lundo ne banai toli,Rat bhar chut tatoli,Subeh uth k chut boli,Maa

chudaye aisi HOLI.
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Fagun me jab ayi HOLI,Ek chut jhom k boli,Koi mere sath v khele

HOLI.Lundo ne banai toli,Rat bhar chut tatoli,Subeh uth k chut boli,Maa

chudaye aisi HOLI.
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Woh kaunsi situation he jisme mard 30 minute me thak jata he aur aurat

chahti he ke woh karta rahe Socho SHOPPING Magar apki soch ko Salam
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Ishq k school me kamal hogaya,madam ko pappu se pyar hogaya,sari class

ka dil udas hogaya, tabhi to sari class fail aur pappu paas hogaya.

GOOD NIGHT
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The biggest loss in life: "kisi ki ankh me ansu hona... aap ki vajah

se" and the biggst achivment in life: "kisiki aankh me aansu hona..

Aapke liye".. Gm
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Girl: papa, bhaiya ne aapko gaali di, BETICHOD. Father: Aane de saale

ko uski bhen chod dounga. Girl: Chalo papa rehne do,dono taraf se

chudai to meri hi hogi.
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Na Mujhe Kisi Ka Dil Chahiye,Na Mujhe Jmane Se Koi Aas Hai,Jo Apna

Samajh Kar Apni Girlfriend se ek kiss Dilwa De,Mujhe Us Sachey Dost Ki

Talash Hai.
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Jab bhi kisi ladki ko propose kroge 5 answers me se koi 1 milega...

1-No 2-Im sorry 3-R u mad 4-v r friends 5-Lekin mai to "ranjan" se

Pyar karti hu.
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Yad hai wo Raat jab Shama Jalayi thi Dosto ne Milke Tmse Randi Chudwayi

thi Police aayi,bhag gaye Hum Sab Par tumari Gaand Fatne ki Awaaz 5 KM

tak aayi thi.!
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<('.')> Δ"Δ_ .. ./"L ". : ". le aaj

phir tere mobile ki screen pe mut diya jo ukhad sake ukhad le. aur kal

bhi karunga..
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Hapi Holi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tumhari holi ho number one,
aur tum karo whole lotta fun!
wishing you a ... Happy holi to you and your family

Send SMS through www.way2sms.com

Very Interesting

Veryyyyyyyyyyyy interesting. ......... ...

Once a man went to a Veterinary Doctor in India and said:
Doctor I have come on vacation for a month so that I can get myself treated fully within this period.
Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic, see that board.
Man: No, Doctor, I have come to you only
Doctor: But, gentleman I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal specialist. I do not treat human beings.
Man: I know, Doctor very well and that is why I have come to you only...
Doctor: I can not, because you speak like me, think like me, talk like me which means you are a human being and not an animal.
Man: I know I am a human but litsen to my complaints first:
Doctor: OK. Tell me.
Man:
I sleep like a dog thinking about my work load whole night.
I get up in the morning like a horse
I go to work running like a deer
I work all the day like a donkey
I run around for 11 months like a bull without any holiday.
I wag my tail in front of all my bosses
I play with my children like a monkey if I get time.
I am like a rabbit before my wife
Doctor: are you an engineer?
Man: Yes
Doctor: Instead of telling this long history you should have told me
in the begining itself that you are are an engineer. Come man, no one
can treat you better than me.
(Pass this message to all engineers. Let them know their real life.)